Dear Dearest,

​August 5, 2019

Dear Dearest, 

I am the survivor of a physically abusive relationship from my husband who I haven’t seen in 4 years. I was a coward and I exposed my children, who were 10 and 8 at the time to their father physically violating me, breaking my nose, damaging my vison among other things. I never called the police. And I was shamed by both of our famies for being desperate because he was well respected in our community. 

My husband eventually abandoned me and the children without explination for another woman. He sent divorce papers during the 4 years but I didn’t sign because for some stupid reason I wanted him back. As time went on I just assumed that he got a divorce without my signature. And I accepted life without him. 

I worked hard to get my life back on track, going back to school and taking a career in medical billing. The kids had a hard time but thankfully gave me no trouble about their father’s absence.

This year he has re-emerged, very successful, telling his elaborate story to everyone that will listen that I am mentally ill and would not allow him to see his children and will not divorce him. He has gone so far to sell his story that some friends and family have stopped dealing with me. I wouldn’t care, if this was not getting back to my teens, who he still has not visited. My question is, how do I stop him from talking without showing completely out. 

Sincerely, “He Keeps My Name In His Mouth”

Dear “He Keeps My Name In His Mouth”,

I am so sorry this was your experience. The man that you call husband needs to be in jail. That will shut him up. You should have filed with the police years ago but it sounds like you were in a terrible space. It had to be difficult not even having your family’s support. Know that you are loved and never alone. 

Now here is the tough part, you can still sue him. Take him to court for a divorce, child support, domestic abuse and slander. Most states will hear your case. Then seek professional help for you and your children. I am not saying you are crazy but you need to clean the slate. I am praying a judge will shut him up so you no longer have to walk in HIS shame.

~ Dearest

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