Dear Dearest, (Mommy Issues)

Dear Dearest, 

I’ve had a period where I ran the streets and messed with drugs. It was due to a rough upbringing by an abusive mother. I have two sons and they were put in foster care, reported by my mother. I can’t seem to forgive her because she put them in the system when she could have taken them in herself. She says she raised her kids already but what type of grandmother would let that happen. I am fighting to get my kids now that I am sober and all of a sudden she is showing an interest in the boys, asking my case worker how she can help. We curse and fight because I think she should stay out of it. She is truly hateful. I am worried that she will get custody and the only reason she is doing it is to be spiteful. How do I get my boys back and cut her out of my life permanently? #mommiedearest

Dear Mommie Dearest, 

Forgiveness is not for her but it is for you. Start there. Begin your healing over what you been through. Did you really want your abusive mother to care for your kids? Your mother sounds very toxic but you only get one. My recommendation is focus on you and your children. It’s not a good look arguing with her. You are the mother and if you are clean and sober you can begin again. Be forthcoming with social workers about your abusive past so they are not placed in her care. Stay away from her. This is not the season to be around one another. It may never be the season. Prove that you are responsible enough to raise your children. That should be your only focus.