Sister Pam

I guess most think I just post to be heard. I don't tell how many times I've been to the prisons, or how many grieving mothers I've consoled. I don't tell about how many homeless shelters I've stayed at or how many people I've feed. I don't cause FB ain't real. This crap ain't nothing but horns and whistles that make us dead but please don't assume my actions don't match my words. I deal with mental illness daily. I can relate because the voice of Pamela Turner I heard. It could have been me at my lowest. She was my alter ego in my abyss of darkness. I once wore the orange band when my mind was missed. I've cried pregnant to a man that I wanted to stop brutalizing me. I've talked to myself because no one could understand my pain. I've been grumpy, disquietude, irrational and yes I've been insane. Man Sister Pam is me or maybe my baby sister. Sister Pam was me when I didn't want to comb my hair and especially when nobody else was there. I guess mental illness only sides with white victims. Those with blond hair and blue eyes. Because she talked crazy to you Mr. Officer before you even tried to seize and arrest. She gave you signs that her thoughts weren't at rest. Couldn't you wait for backup Mr. Officer? Why did you have to slam me to the ground? You couldn't hold off on your tase and rage Mr. Officer, you couldn't hold off on your pound. When Pam died, a little part of me was broken. I've been that women, my testimonies have spoken. So don't come for me when I mourn her life. You see just like me Pam didn't do everything right. But she was depressed, she was sad, she was low things were bad. She had two children which makes it even worst. I want police to handle all humans with care. If "money" hadn't videoed, you wouldn't even know nor would you care. Why is it easy to take my life so damn quick? Sister Pam was a victim and everyone knew she was sick. Pam enjoy Tamir and Michael. Tell Sandra it is done. Speak to Philadro and Trayvon, because this victory is almost won. This victory is almost won. Rest in Power.