Dear Dearest,

August 3, 2019

Dear Dearest, 

My son has recently graduated from High School and has decided to attend a Vocational Tech. I am very proud of him as he enters this new endeavor. I took the appropriate steps to secure his spot, such as registration and financial aid. As time drew nearer for him to attend, he began to bother me daily with request for my tax statement at the advisement of his grandfather’s second wife on his dad’s side. She is an outsider to all the family. I don’t know this woman but I became annoyed that she didn’t come to me. She actually works at the school. I felt like she was underminding me as mother and what we had already prepared.  I vented to my parents about the unusual request and they both seemed to side with her. They know my “to the point” personality and didn’t want conflict. 

According to my son, the paperwork was time sensitive but I felt if something was incomplete the school would directly contact me. Yet, eventually I gave in, giving my son the documents. I feel like she stepped over me just to get herself in the family. I am so angry that I want to tell her but my mother has voiced to leave it alone. This has caused a strain between my parents and I. I feel like I have no control but I am trying to let it all go so my son can just have a successful school year. What can I do to just let it go for my son? At this point I have no peace.  

Fighting An Invader

Dear Fighting An Invader, 

Isn’t it funny how quickly the relationship with our children changes from season to season. Encompassed in the beautiful mile stone of your son’s graduation is also the grief of him no longer being a minor; your baby. I hear hurt in your letter but I think you are making up an invader. What should of happened was you pick up that phone and ask step granny what’s the deal with these documents.  Although your son is entering manhood, apparently he doesn’t know the significance of your social and other personal information on a financial aid doc. 

But you do know this and just like you wouldn’t pass that information to a complete stranger, you would not just give it to an 18 year old, excited son for granny; unless this season is unfamiliar to you. Breath through your nose. What is done is already done. I don’t know granny’s motives but I advise you to choose love. Speak to her. She has your social and without question, take your parents out of it. I thought this illustration was perfect for you. “Don’t argue with folks that Harriett Tubman would have shot” and just grieve your baby growing up. ~Dearest

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