Dear Dearest, (COVID has changed me)

Dear Dearest, 

I contracted COVID in March of this year. I was very resistant to go to the hospital when I began to get sick but my son insisted because of my age and health. I tested positive and immediately was admitted. During the 3 week stay in the hospital I may remember two days. But it was the most horrifying experience I’ve ever had in my life. The pain was so intensive that I felt like I had shattered glass in my lungs. My sense of taste and smell disappeared and my body temperature went from extreme colds to intense hots. And to have no contact with family was the worst.  I truly thought I was going to die. I’ve lost several family members to this disease and now I live in guilt with the idea of my survival. I asked God why He spared me. I am 78 years old and 4 months later I still can’t shake the guilt. I am in counseling but it doesn’t seem to help. Maybe you can help me find some peace. #stuckinguilt

Dear Stuck In Guilt, 

Guilt is one of those tricky emotions that you have to personally fight your way out of. COVID took us all by storm and we still don’t have an idea of all it’s lingering affects. But the only advice I can give you on this day is your life matters just as much as anyone else’s and you deserve to live. When those emotions of guilt try to show up I want you to stand on the promises of God, that you will live and not die. You have more work to do. Maybe it’s sharing your story with others so they don’t feel alone or building bonds with family. I don’t know why others died but give God the Glory for bringing you through. Continue your counseling, it is work and know with each passing day you are suppose to be here. I rebuke the spirit of guilt. Praying for your peace and comfort.