Dear Dearest

Dear Dearest, 

My husband can’t respond to me without being verbally abusive. He humiliates me in public and private. He yells at me in front of our children like I am a child. He is so mean. We have children from different partners but he is especially cruel in front of his own children. Most of the time it’s over the simplest things. I needed to reach him yesterday because my car stalled and he kept declining the call. It was pouring raining and I did not have roadside assistance. Finally he responded in text saying, “I’m fuckin busy, damn. I’ll call you back smh.” I responded, “I understand”. In which he kept going with, “You see me declining the call. Are you stupid? Im on the phone.” He didn’t call back, my phone died and I eventually walked to a store where someone let me use their phone for an uber.  When I arrived home he turned it around on me insulting my appearance from being soaked from the rain and rocking a natural. I am tired. I am miserable. I rather him beat me. What should I do? #wordshurtme

Dear Words Hurt Me, 

You are not deserving of this. This is classic abuse and the damage can be worst than physical abuse. I don’t know the ends and outs of your relationship but my question is why do you stay? Why subject your children to this? My suggestion is to call a counselor immediately. There are free resources out there. Next plan an exit strategy. You can not stay with that monster. If you can just leave, I recommend leave. Verbal abuse is usually a precursor to physical violence. It’s only a matter of time. You got to build yourself up. Connect with friends and know there is hope. Share your truth with those you can trust. Never keep secrets about this and lastly as your sista, my prayers go out to you. I love you but God loves you more. - Dearest
The National Hotline for Domestic Violence can be accessed via the nationwide number 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 or (206) 518-9361 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers).