Independent Women and the Church with Professional Sista, Marsha Mclean

Independent Women and the Church

This is your Professional Sista, Marsha C. Mclean with your Mental Health Moment. Today's discussion is on single women and the church. In private practice, we see many single, depressed, yet independent women, serving in their local church. I must admit that this is a hard blog to write because I see myself in this piece. These women are taught to be independent and to get an education without a man, right? I too was raised with well-intentioned parents that just got it all wrong.

As women we get our education and start climbing the corporate ladder with our red bottom heels on. Our self-identity comes from material gain and our independent personal pursuits. And we wear the mantra of not needing a man proudly. We unknowingly become man haters and angry that we are still 35 and single. So this is where the church comes in. As independent women goes to a church with a head strong female pastor in which the male membership is low. Popularizing being a single mother and having babies out of wedlock becomes the norm (yes, I went there). I sure hope I have not lost you.

We are taught to trust God and the need for marriage dwindles with the lack of understanding of Christian principles. Jesus is all they need some say. When nowhere in the Bible does it say it is wrong to want something good. We sow our seeds to church and go home dissatisfied and delusional about our relationship with God and wanting a good man. We all need to find a realistic balance between church and the purpose of a man in our lives. When a church shames people for wanting to be married, this is a problem. I think it is a trap designed by some churches. Think about who most of the activities at churches; single women. Beware, you may be in church where there is a benefit to you staying single. Ladies it is okay to be a proud independent woman but if you are going to a church and all they are preaching is you don't need a husband, you're not ready for a husband or you meant to be single for what God is doing in your life, it may be time to reevaluate. If your pastor is your King "Queen" it maybe time to re-evaluate. You are not going to get a husband because you're already married to your church or pastor. Boom! It saddens me how many women wanting to be wives and mothers lost in possible error of biblical teaching. I don't claim to be a preacher but it is time we do our research on this independent woman thing and the possible influence of the modern church. It is okay to be a strong woman and desire marriage. I understand two is always better than one! Church needs to be part of the solution not making women feel crazy for wanting something so natural and a marriage.

Some of the ways the church can help their singles to refrain from trapping women about marriage is to have active singles ministries. Do not accuse anyone of not being happy with God because they want a relationship. Also churches should see the role that they may be placing for single women to remain single is a benefit to your church! These are just my thoughts and some issues that come up often in my private practice. If you enjoyed this mental health moment please follow me on IG@Professional_Sista, IG@revivets and FB@Professional Sista and @Revive Therapeutic Services, PLLC

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