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The other day, I had an interaction in which there was some misinterpretation. Instead of asking me directly, the person involved assumed my intention. This assumption made the other person think that I was acting out of malice, and thus became offended.
After discovering that the person was offended during an exchange of words in relationship to the circumstance in question, I shared with the person "Hey, you know you could've just asked me what I meant or thought. It did not have to be this way"
This wasn't someone I knew personally or someone close to me, and normally I would have ignored the whole situation. However, I knew that this was not about me. There was something in the way she talked that made me want to look a little deeper. I got that she was dealing with whatever she was dealing with, and projecting it toward me. However, what my training in NLP has taught me is that there's a higher intention to every communication.
Assumptions Create False Perceptions
Whether it's fear, hurt, anger, or sadness, there's always something deeper behind a negative communication. When I reached out to this young lady who had become offended by a communication that was not even directed at her personally, I tried to understand the reason she reacted in such a negative way. It turns out she based her reaction on some other past experience that led to an unfavorable outcome.
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I've been a physician for many years. I've been practicing for over 15 years in a not so popular specialty: integrative medicine.
Integrative or holistic medicine was not a big thing in Atlanta when I first started. What ended up happening was that I ended up isolating myself from the physician community, since my colleagues weren't in the same specialty.
As I began diving deeper into personal growth, I realized that I needed to get bigger than my immediate space around me - otherwise I was limiting my reach. I began to open up not only to the communities that could empower me, but also the ones I could contribute to.
To those in service industries, entrepreneurs, or in general trying to shine a light in the world… you know that being part of a community is only good as long as you can contribute to it.
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This week, Dr. Ijeoma Opara and I took the conversation to another level as we talked about fluidity, the "blessing ripples" and the things we do that's limiting us and our capability to do great things.
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Highlights from the conversation:
[00:43] Dr. Ijeoma Opara
· Internal Medicine-Pediatrics Physician and Associate Program Director at Wayne State University School of Medicine
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Something happened while I was practicing yoga this morning, and I had to share it with you. For those of you who do not know, I've been a yogi for 15 years, so I consider myself to be high intermediate level practitioner. I commit 4 days out of my week to my practice. It is something that keeps me focused and yet grounded. This particular morning I was doing a more restorative practice.
As I flowed, I began thinking about how sometimes, when we reach a goal, we have a tendency for to take our foot off the gas. So, as you might imagine, there are some complicated and more advanced postures that come along with an advanced practice.
As with anything, the more challenging asanas come with practice and consistency. And once I'm able to do a posture, there's a mini-celebration that goes on inside of me. However, the discipline comes in staying vigilant in the practice rather than using celebration as an excuse to let up. When I accomplish something new in my practice, I am mindful to not to let the celebration create apathy but rather to use the celebration as momentum and motivation. I utilize that energy, that adrenaline to push me through the next level inside my yoga practice.
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Today I want to share with you a lesson that has been demonstrated to me over and over again, specifically about the unconscious mind.
When the mind is made up and ready to learn, and the heart is ready to receive, the path will be made.
A path made for me
Last year my best friend of 12 years became my partner. The funny thing is, even though we had known each other for 12 years, and he has seen me go through relationships, the birth of my child, the start of all of my businesses… I never saw him as a potential life partner.
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It's important to watch your words, because your words are creative. Now, when I talk about watching your words I not only mean the words that you speak out loud, but also the words that you speak to yourself internally.
And just as important is our focus, because depending on it is how we formulate our language. Are you putting your focus on what you want, or in stuff you don't really care about?
We tend to put our focus in one of two places: Either in what we want to be or what we don't want. How many times have you heard people say "I don't want this"? And then there are others who repeat to themselves "I want THIS", I want to make this much money", "I want to make this impact". You've probably heard examples of both of these, haven't you? Well, for the latter, their vision is forward facing.. that is they are focusing on the future. For the first group, their vision is on the rear view… meaning they are focusing on what they are running away from.
Focus: Occupying your mind with positives, and leaving the negatives aside
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Mind remapping is about reprogramming our minds at the root cause of the unconscious level to be at its most empowering state. It is based in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), rapid transformation and hypnosis. NLP in short is a set of processes and tools you can use daily to supercharge the mind.
The way our mind works, and how we can tweak it
Our mind works in layers. There's always something underneath, and the ultimate layer - the unconscious mind - is what actually runs us at the core. We come up with decisions and actions based on conversations, thoughts, beliefs, and things that we probably don't remember but have been stored in our unconscious mind.
NLP is what helps us access that basic level of our mind. If we have reoccurring problems, with NLP, you can find the root cause and eliminate them at their origin. If we feel like our judgement is clouded by previous experiences, or trauma, you can use NLP to heal those traumas and make decisions based on who we are now.
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