Does Any Of This Make Sense?

COVID19 Pandemic? Financial Crisis? George Floyd Uprisings??

I have been a therapist for almost twenty years. Professionally, I work hard to help my clients make sense of their lives. I use “talk therapy” to help people to understand the challenges and obstacles of their everyday experiences. I make sense of depression, anxiety, trauma, abuse, infidelity, abandonment, self-worth, and failures. As a therapist, there are few things that I couldn't make sense of. March 2020, things began to no longer make sense.

In March, like many therapists, I switched my practice to tele- therapy. I followed the state guidelines, and worked from home. I adjusted to providing therapy using my computer and phone, and I continued. But the pandemic didn't make sense to me. As the number of cases increased and the restrictions became stricter, it didn't' make sense. As the number of deaths increased for people of color, it just didn't make sense.

With the Pandemic came this financial crisis. The economic discrepancy between the poor and rich became very clear. Government stimulus came to assist people. But there were millions of people out of work. Huh? I understood the need to stay home from work, but it literally blew my mind that 40 million people would need to apply for unemployment. It broke my heart to see the long lines of people seeking food and emergency assistance. It literally boggled my mind. I didn't understand? How did we get to this place? It didn't make sense.

Like many others, this week I watched the images of George Floyd being murdered by a Minneapolis police officer. This was the straw the broke the camel's back for me. All of these emotions came up for me. I felt angry, sad, anxious, hopeless,and confused. This was something else to process that didn't make sense. The murder was senseless.

Then there was a national uprising. People began to protest, some peacefully and some violently. And finally, things began to make sense for me.

We are in a season of pain. We are all affected by this pain. The pandemic is global. We are experiencing the fear, worry and anxiety of the Coronavirus. The Financial instability goes beyond the poor, there is a universal uncertainty and instability. We are following the stock market and gas prices. We are watching big companies and local businesses close. We are concerned about job security and college funds. We are all impacted by the financial climate. George Floyd is a racial issue. He was murdered because he was black. Police brutality is real in 2020. Bad police officers are killing black men. As a person of color, this is something I have always been aware of. But I believe the constant images make it impossible for all of us to ignore. This is no longer a black issue of pain. This is an American issue of pain.

Emotional pain makes sense to me. I understand the need to address and heal from these pains. As a therapist, I know we cannot ignore these realities. We start by acknowledging the emotional impact. Recognizing how we are affected by this new reality. Whether it's anxiety, sadness, loneliness, anger, hopeless, or confusion. If it ever feels like too much it's okay to reach out for help. Seek help, because sometimes it doesn't make sense.